The Chapters of my then Imaginary Romeo…

Walking in the Rain…

I have pictured this before; walking… not knowing where to go, being somewhere far away from your comfort zone… getting cold with the wind blowing against your hair and face… hands tucked inside your pockets to keep it warm… heads down, staring at the pavement… thinking…

When would I be freed from my silly obsession of make beliefs; of witchcraft, vampires, immortality or myths, gargoyles, and supernaturals… magic and spells… When will I be able to stop believing that somehow this feeling is real? that little spark of hope that my fantasies will soon become my truth…

How this life is so much of a place we don’t actually fit in… dreaming of an ideal surrounding that most of us crave… but hardly gets… even how much we’ve tried… being someone we’ve hoped for… until it becomes more difficult and incredibly complicated when actually, all we need is to know that someone thinks of us the way we do… appreciate why we do the things we do and still, we failed to realize that suffering is merely associated with the fact that the very person we want to watch over us is nowhere in sight… far from our reach…

Just like the rain…. during the warmest, when you feel like wanting it to drop…

My feet grew heavy as I stepped away towards the parking lot… It’s been one hell of a ride home. I can’t think… can’t eat… and worst of all, I can’t sleep… I can’t even focus on what’s supposed to be right… I shut my mind for possibilities, only crowded merely by your very own existence… the thought of time without assertion is like waiting for the rain to fall in a desert land…

I am not certain of what I feel. Maybe I’m suffering from a state of angst… anguish fills my heart. Just like the rain outside my window…

The rain that for a moment leaves me no trace of the world outside… and now that finally rain decides to give way for the moon to shine and the stars to come out, I have to admit that I’ve come to enjoy its absence for quite some time. I felt a deaf and sickening pain knowing that there is no turning back… while I keep a cold face, deep in my soul… I longed for your embrace.

I was stunned with how the rain apparently completes every hour of my life… it’s sound that brings pleasure to my ears… the rain that helps me hide the tears running down my face… and the sorrow that lingers in my eyes… watching every drop that falls from heaven to the ground, washing away every inch of my sanity…

Letting go would be the very last thing I could imagine… I was never the person who just gives up easily… however, holding on to something that you knew from the start; fate would never bother to intervene is not worth it… but then again, I’d rather choose to rest in my grave than to live without the taste of your lips… and forever endure the stillness of friendship… yet I rejoice for the temporary glory that the rain brings into my flesh… the gentle touch that drowns me into the wonder of make believes. .. then came the realization that I can’t ignore… the verity that rainy days will soon come to an end… now, I’m forced to look forward to the burning sunshine of my days… drawing closer and closer…

I found myself again back from the start, waiting for the season to pass… watching… wandering… contemplating… when will the rain comes back to sweep me away from the light…

The rain… they come and go. Like everything else… like everybody else…

they might be back… only no one knows when or how long… for sure, but it will never be the same as it was before…

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1 Comment

  1. Arthur
    June 5, 2017 / 7:07 am

    thought of the song- raindrops keep falling on my head…while reading your article “)

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