I’ve been here before… and I don’t know what is really more frightening to me… To see you again, or to never see you again.
Time seems so towering since the last moment I’ve laid my eyes on you… your absence caused me a great distress that my mind has been the most restless thing you could ever imagined, and yet again I cannot adequately marvel how my agonies keeps me from my sanity.
When days are passing by like seconds, weeks by hours… nostalgic of how our hands intertwined, the smile on your eyes; somehow your presence can still make my heart beats so fast. All started from a feeling we did not ignore, a feeling of connection we chose to explore.
When we finally realized that our souls found its home apart from each other… as I’ve seen it in your eyes, and yours in mine… I adore you so much that parting will bring me sorrow… However; after so much deliberation, I have finally come to a point that I grew dubious of dragons, mermaids and gargoyles’ existence in the real world [I will need to search them somewhere else though]. There’s nothing really magical and everything that I believed in seems to disintegrate… It felt awful.
Sadness sinks into the very core of my skin and it only boils down to one thing… your grace grows upon me and I feel a greater liking through my entire being…I thought maybe, somehow you will just come out somewhere to save the day… or probably not since you are too busy saving the world.
I don’t really know how your story started, not even a hint of how you have lived… when in fact I am more of a Peter/Gwen fan that everything about you is completely vague. I have no idea on how you struggled day by day, how you have worked your tail off just to be where you are. All I know is that you have so much to offer the world… You most definitely deserve to be acknowledged, honoured and celebrated for just being the person that you are, skilled and passionate with enough conviction and compassion for the people… shame that I couldn’t even stand a chance to be next to you.
My greatest torment would be the reality that I have to face my fear of living away when all I wanted is to spend each day with you… yet I have chosen to take a different path alone. It dawned unto me that my earthly ambitions would wreck you and yours would impair me. and will end up destroying each other.
But it wasn’t until it was over that I realized something that I never thought was possible. The thing that I despised the most… Emotionally unstable, a feeling of uncertainty succumbs me. And my only wish is that our circumstances would be a little less different… that perhaps would allow me to abstain from the opportunity that lies in front of me.
Love is such a strong word to incorporate with someone like you… or maybe not. because on the contrary; I’m not quite sure if there was anything about you that I didn’t love. And the best part is… how you engraved the smile that lingers on my lips… how you made me feel, the way you look at me, the way you touch my face, your skin against mine that I’ve been longing for sometime… and what started to be a normal “girl meets boy” story suddenly turned upside down.
Even though I didn’t know very much about it, in the deepest recesses of my heart… You are amazing.
You made me feel incredible, and most importantly, you made me feel like I deserved to feel incredible. I have never felt that way before. There was an unfathomable spark every time I was near you, talk to you, or hear your name, or just the thoughts of you.
Your presence gives me uncertainty… I stuttered, I got lost for words, speechless as if I swallowed my tongue at the very sight of you… it even puts me off my food.
It wasn’t until that moment I let go, did I finally comprehend what made me love Clark Kent without me noticing it…
— Everybody knows you are focused, and that nothing could keep you away from your pursuits.
We know you are real… and that you actually care so much, though you tried to hide, it shows through your actions. You are genuine, kind and considerate. You give us a glimpse of what the world could be.
Who could blame you for wanting to save the day? for wanting to save the world? for your concerns and sympathy to those who suffer. You’ve done more than most, our efforts can’t compare. You’ve solved many problems, you’ve helped a lot and you have brought clarity, sense and hope. Nevertheless, you can’t do it alone.
You need us as much as we need you. Your vision is bigger than your capacity. Your journey is far more gruelling than you think. Your soul alone cannot carry the weight of the things you desire. You are Superman to us.. to me… but you must know that even Superman must confront his own kryptonite.
Invite us into your dreams. Engage us in all your undertakings. Create pathways for us to get involved. We really do want to help. We believe in you, the world believes in you. Don’t overlook the obvious people in your life. Let’s do this together and we will triumph in the end. —
This letter is for you to know how much you’re being loved by far too many… that you bring so much to our table…
Looking back, I realized that our time together was limited only for a few short weeks, but it seems so deep and meaningful that I felt it was forever. I was at a certain heights that I never wanted to come down from. And when it stopped, I crashed to the ground. I fell harder and further than I knew was possible. This feeling was something I have never felt before. The way I reacted was very uncommon of me and could have possibly scare you away back to Krypton…
So I say to you now, without hopes or expectations… I’m so much grateful. Thankful that… in the middle of my crazy-filled world and growing insanity, I have come to know you and became a part in your book of life… I know I am, for getting to be a single part of your life today, for getting to tell you how amazing you are, and how you’ve changed lives of so many people just by being the superhero that you are…
Forever and always,